


Karmic Bones

by ladyjssem



Series: Freedom of the Soul [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, F/F, F/M, It's my bag, M/M, Porn With Plot, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader is like 4'0, Romance, Small but fiesty, Smut, Yes another named/described Reader, african-american and white mixed Reader, more tags as we go, reader is a baker, reader is short, romcom, romcom at its finest, switching POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-23 00:00:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15593745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyjssem/pseuds/ladyjssem
Summary: You are Karma, no really, that's your name. You are a feisty 28-year-old who owns your own bakery Karmic Bones, an erotic bakery who serves both human and Monsters alike. You believe in free love, (what can you say your mom was a hippy), and have the odd luck of always managing to find your partner's soul mate. Be it friends, co-workers, friends of friends.... you always ended up introducing them to each other and being left to wonder if you were going to end up being a crazy auntie to a whole hoard of Monster and half-Monster kids.Until you met Sans.Life got a little sweeter, and a LOT crazier with the scarred, red-eyed skeleton in your life. Not to mention your Peachy Pie Papyrus!





	1. Your POV

**Author's Note:**

  * For [saturnwonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnwonder/gifts).



> Ths is just a sneak peek at a side story that I've had planned for quite a while!! This is a gift to all of my readers who left 1000 kudos! And a gift for SaturnWonder who fell in love with Karma and who will hopefully one day open up her own erotic bakery. 
> 
> Love you Saturn this is DEFINITELY for you!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first encounter with a skeleton. Or two.

“Order for Sans!” you yelled, as you lugged the heavy cake to the sales floor. You carefully placed it on the counter and smirked at the vibrant blue cock cake you and some of the girls had finished the night before. It had been such a fun (and hilarious) order, and you couldn't help but add a bit more detail to it, having added darker blue veins, a very obvious head, and sparkly, very light blue gel icing semen leaking from the tip. Free of charge, of course. The order was such a welcome change from the average and dull pink or brown penis with hairy balls that you decided that going the extra mile had been well deserved. It was good karma.

That was your name after all.

No, really.

Your name was Karma Baines. The owner and head baker of Karmic Bones, the only erotic bakery in the area surrounding Mt. Ebott. You had opened up shop shortly after the Emergence and were popular with both monsters and humans. You were all of 28, but had always aimed for being a baker; it was merely after you turned older that you wanted to add erotic cakes to your menu. You loved your job, you loved your apartment, and you loved your extensive network of friends.

But you had to admit; you were lonely sometimes. Humans either got unnerved or creepy when they found out about your bakery, and then they got even worse when they found out you owned the joint. You'd dated a few monsters, but, to your wry amusement, every time you'd introduced your then datemates (since you weren't picky you went with the monster term) to some of your friends, they’d ended up finding their soul-mates. It was nice, even satisfying, in a way. But it didn't keep you warm at night.

 _Eh, can't have everything_ , you thought with a shrug, plonking your signature peach-and-turquoise half-moon glasses on your nose and rereading the order ticket, as you stepped up on your stool that allowed you to actually look over the freaking counter. You were short, but damn were you feisty, _and_ sexy, if you said so yourself.

“Sans the Skeleton?” you called again, raising your voice this time. Someone in a drawn-up hoodie jerked, from the corner of the seating area. They stumbled up and came over to your counter slowly. Sure enough, a skeleton indeed was slouched in front of you, one eye socket empty and dead, the other holding a giant, ruby-red eye-light glowing at you as he gave a crooked grin.

“sorry 'bout that, must've been bone-tired,” he rumbled, his voice gentle and thick, and male. You liked that. You had a thing for men with baritone voices. He was a foot taller than you if you were any judge, and he wore heavy, baggy clothes that hung on him a bit. You’d say he needed some more meat on his bones if he was anything other than a skeleton. 

Snickering, you gave him your trademark smirk and wink, as you set out more product in the bottomless display case. “Eh, don't worry about it, I won't rib ya for it, bright-eye.” 

He blinked (somehow?), a faint pink colour covering his cheekbones, but he grinned a little wider. “bright eye, huh? eye see whatcha did there.” 

You wrinkled your nose, laughing, “'Course ya did, it was very a-pear-ent,” you replied lightly, as you placed some pear muffins into the case. He snickered, before eyeing the peach-and-turquoise box the cake patiently waited in.

You opened it up for him, standing on your tip toes and drawing, “Hope ya don't mind, the girls and I had fun with this one, so we added some embellishments. Free of charge,” you winked. His eye-sockets widened as he stared at the bright blue penis, the grin on his face twitching. As you watched, his eye-sockets crinkled, and a huge, genuine grin covered his skull, as well as a faint pink tinge again. He started to shake and had to lean against the counter. You blinked at him curiously as he covered his mouth with an oddly solid-palmed hand, little pink tears appearing at the edge of his eye-sockets.

“y-ya actually did it...” he murmured, before laughing the loudest, raunchiest laugh you had ever heard in your life. He was cackling, doubled over, causing some of your customers to back away from him. You just grinned your wicked grin, closing the box again, and quietly collecting a paper cup and filling it with water. He was probably going to need it. You ended up having to come around the counter to him, as he ended up on the floor, pink tears trickling down his cheekbones.

“Everything okay there, funny bones?” you asked as you handed him the cup. He cackled again, accepting it with a tap on the rim. He took several deep breaths, trying to steady himself, before downing the entirety of the cup.

“this's the best day of my life,” he said with a snicker, before looking at you. “whoa, yer tiny,” he spoke with surprise, looking over you. You just laughed, having embraced being small years ago. You were only 4'7” but curved nicely, with caramel skin that you loved to show off (not to mention the beautiful tattoos you had here and there) , and were deceptively strong after years in a bakery. You had short multicolored hair you dyed with some frequency and large green eyes.

“Good things come in small packages, they say, yah?” you said with a wink, before offering him a hand. He hesitated a moment but accepted your hand, and you hauled him up, earning another flash of surprise. His hand felt nice, warm and rough. A worker's hand. You could appreciate that. You steadied him, and he blinked down at you, ruby eye studying your face curiously, a nervous look crossing his features. 

You let him go with a smile. “Hey, if I'm crowding ya, lemme know, I've been told I'm too friendly.”

“eh...yer okay, just…not used to humans being so close to me,” he said slowly, rubbing his skull, which caused his hood to fall back. A large gaping black hole quickly revealed itself at the back of his head, on his right side. You blinked in surprise; The ruby red orb of his left eye shrank, and he hunched up, grabbing his hood.

“Whoa! Awesome scar!” you chirped without thinking. 

The skeleton looked at you like you'd grown a second head. “Oh, wait, is scar right? Not sure how I got ‘scar’ out of missing a chunk of your skull. Sorry!” you said with the smallest of blushes. His grin twitched as he looked uncertainly at you. “Still, bet that has an awesome story.” 

He didn't look pleased by this declaration, settling his hood back on his head and idly fingering his empty socket, so you, being you, pressed on, winking at him. “But I bet _my_ scar has a better one.” Your hand went to the tail of your shirt.

“Karma! Please! _Please_ don't take off your shirt in front of customers again!” Flops, one of your snow bunny monster employees suddenly yelped, as he came through with a tray of goods. He swiftly put it down and raced around to grab you. The tall cream-colored rabbit half-dragged you back around the counter as the skeleton watched with wide eye-sockets. Flops sighed and glanced apologetically at the skeleton, as you huffed and went back to actually working. “Sorry about her, when she's behind the counter she's a professional, but get her out, and she's a menace.”

“I will fight you!” you roared, shaking a fist at the rabbit. His nose twitched, and the skeleton finally chuckled, lowly.

“eh...she's okay. reminds me of a friend of mine.” He paused a moment, watching you hop to try and grab some cupcake wrappers. “jus'...a lot smaller.”

“Good things come in small packages!” you repeated, and the skeleton's grin twitched, pure amusement in that ruby eye.

“keep tellin' yerself that, shortcake.”

“I will, bright-eye!” 

He sniggered, and Flops sighed, “If you need me, I'll be in the back. Karma, stay behind the counter. I mean it, stay.” 

You scowled up at the tall bun. “Hey, there seems to be some confusion about who's the actual boss here. I'm the one that signs your paycheques!” 

Flops gave you a deadpan look, his ears twitching. “And I like working here, but if you end up showing the entire shop your breasts, again, we might end up losing it.”

“Agh, you're just jealous,” you said, kicking your stool to where you needed it to grab the wrappers, and going ahead and grabbing some ribbons and clear plastic wrap while you were there. The skeleton watched on in silence, a faint pink blush back on his cheekbones. “It's not my fault my awesome scar can only be seen with my awesome tits!”

“Oh, my stars, Karma! In front of the customers?!”

“It's my bakery!” you shot back, grabbing one of your shop's famous peach and blackberry cupcakes to go with the skeleton's cake. You always gave a free cupcake with a first purchase. But with your exuberance, you, of course, dropped it. “Oh snickerdoodle,” you grumbled, hopping down to pick it up. You noticed the skeleton watching you closely. “What's up buttercup?”

“ya goin' ta toss that?” he ground out, sounding angry. 

You blinked in surprise, gaping at him, before snapping, “Of course not!” He jerked back at the angry retort, but you continued, too annoyed to do anything but rant. “I hate how people assume something's dirty just because it's been on the floor, which we clean as often as the counters, thankyouverymuch! Now I know the 5-second rule is bull hockey, and I'm not allowed to sell it by law, cause ooooh, dirt! But this is one of the best damn cupcakes in the area,” you said with a huff, carefully removing the battered frosting, since it was a loss, then grabbing some new frosting and swirling it on the cupcake. You then reached down and pulled out a special “Leftovers for those on Lean Times” box and carefully put the cupcake into it. “And now someone who couldn't afford to buy it will have it,” you said smugly, scurrying over to the basket you kept for the daily collection. You turned to give the skeleton a smirk, wiping your hands on your apron, only for him to shove something towards you. You blinked at the phone, confused.

“can...ya give me a list of all the places that do the same thing? i can't stand to see food wasted,” the skeleton muttered, looking away from you with bright pink cheeks and rubbing his empty socket again, his fingers curling inside the edge of it. “'s nice knowin' there's others who hate it too.” 

You blinked, again, then smiled brightly, “Well, shoot, bright-eye! Here I thought just the opposite, and I'm sorry I thought that. Though I don't need a phone to give you a list.” 

You grabbed a pamphlet for him from your stash below the register, handing it and the phone back. He took the pamphlet but was slow to take the phone back, seeming reluctant and hesitant, but finally just shoved it into his pocket. You gave him a grin and fixed a cupcake for him, and set it beside the cake box. “Now, you’d paid for a message, what did you want me to write on this magnificent penis?” 

He choked and coughed, before cackling, “stars! yer gonna kill me!” 

You gave a wicked grin, “Aww, don't do that.” He took a deep slow breath, trying to calm down, so you continued, “It's so messy, I just had to clean up a body yesterday.” He laughed louder, shoulders shaking, resting his forehead on the countertop, “You need some more water there, bright-eye?”

“i need a bucket, shortcake,” he said, snickering, before looking back up at you as you pulled a bucket from under your sink. His eye-sockets widened, and he laughed again, making you snicker back, dropping the bucket and just getting him another paper cup. He gave you a broad, genuine grin, tapping it lightly, before taking a slow drink.

“Aw, not going to down it all in one go, again?” you teased, as you set up more cupcakes for later. 

He snorted, that ruby red eye watching you. “pretty sure i'd regret it immediately if I did.”

“Awww, you're learning too fast!” you said with a pout, making him grin, his eye glinting.

“i'm a bonehead, but not a complete numbskull. that honor goes to the idiot i'm getting' the cake for.” 

You perked up, grinning, always interested to know what your cakes were being used for. Even if half the time you regretted it. “Oooh, now ya got me all curious.” 

He snickered, his finger bones tapping along the countertop, “'s for my “relative's” soul-mates birthday. nice enough human, but he's a fucker. so i'm fuckin' with him.” He paused. “d'ya have any generic cakes i can actually give'er?” 

You paused in thought, then hopped down as he watched you with interest. “I had someone cancel on a chocolate cake that only has white roses on it. Give you a discount since it's a canceled order,” you said, bringing over the smaller round cake. He nodded, barely glancing at it. “Want me to write anything on it? Any colors in mind?”

“'suck it' on the dick, and 'happy birthday, Rhia' on the other.” he paused, opening the penis cake box, and grinning evilly. “can ya use more've that sparkly cum shit on both?”

“I like the way you think, bright-eye,” you snickered, finding the icing he was talking about. It had been made especially for his cake, after all, you and the girls had to make it different from most of your semen icing. It had turned out damn pretty, so being able to use more of it was a bonus. You carefully wrote “Suck it” as elegantly as you could, making the skeleton cackle as a result. Then you nicely wrote out “Happy Birthday” on the chocolate cake, and had him spell out the name, before finishing with an upside down heart in the last of the icing. He blinked at it, and his face softened a bit. You took that as a good thing.

“'s nice. better'n what Muffet does.” 

You chuckled, carefully boxing up everything. “My rival may have _her_ cutthroat business sense and itty-bitty spider family, who are absolute sweethearts, by the way, but they don't have what I have.”

“a thing fer dicks?” he asked, smirking.

“And tits!” you sang, holding up a pair of boob-cakes for emphasis. The poor skeleton turned bright pink and took a swig of water to cover his embarrassment. “But no, pure artistic talent. Muffet's spiders' designs are so formulaic, but she's great on flavor choices though! Never thought I'd enjoy eating spiders,” you admitted with a laugh. He chuckled nervously, and you quickly tied two different-colored ribbons around the cake boxes and slid them and the cupcake towards the skeleton. 

“There we are, my bright-eye cutie pie,” you grinned, watching his skull erupt in a peach blush, his red eye glaring at you accusingly as he finished his water. “Two birthday cakes and a complimentary cupcake for-”

“SANS! WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG, BROTHER? WE REALLY MUST BE ON OUR WAY TO DELIVER THE CAKE!” a very loud voice called, drowning out the jingling of your door's bell. You stared up at the very, very tall skeleton, with misshapen teeth, and squinting eye-sockets. He was having to slump forward so he wouldn't hit the ceiling. You could feel the other skeleton glaring at you, but you were not known for your impulse control.

“Wow! You are tall!” 

The tall skeleton blinked at you and squinted before his twisted jaw stretched into a bright smile. “AND YOU ARE VERY SMALL, HUMAN.” 

You giggled and ran around the counter. Sans watched you closely, distrust coming from him in waves.

“Wow, I don't even come to your hip! Hi! You want to sit down? It can't feel very good to be stooped all the time,” you said, offering the tall skeleton a hand and smiling widely. He covered your hand in both of his, an orange blush spreading over his cheekbones as he shook your hand vigorously.

“WHY YES, THANK YOU! YOU SEE, SANS? HUMANS CAN BE JUST AS NICE AS MONSTERS!” he yelled to the much shorter skeleton as you helped him sit, still worried he'd end up hurting himself. Once seated, he suddenly swooped you up into a tight hug. You couldn't help but laugh, hugging him back. “I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! FORMER MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD, AND CURRENT VOLUNTEER FOR MANY NOBLE ENDEAVOURS!”

“Well, that is the absolute bee's knee's! I'm Karma Baines, owner and proprietor of this fine bakery,” you told him, leaning away to grin at Sans, who was sweating and looking nervous, his bright red eye darting from you to Papyrus as he scraped at his empty eye-socket in a way that did not look comfortable. “Changed my mind, bright-eye, your brother's the cutie pie!” 

Surprise, then amusement, crossed the skeleton's face and he chuckled lowly his hand dropping. “heh, kin live with that, my bro's the coolest.” 

Papyrus laughed, a very sweet and funny “Nyeh heh heh!” You awwed and squeezed his cheeks, amazed that they legit yielded under your fingers, like frozen dough.

“Oh my stars, you two are sweeter than cherry pie and I love it!”

“Oh, stars, not again, Karma! You can't hang on the customers! I knew you were being too quiet!” Flops exclaimed as he came out with another load of goodies. “And have you even finished the sale with these two?? No, the answer is no.” 

You sighed, loudly, “He’s right. I'm sorry, cutie pie, I gotta get down, but feel free to come give me a hug anytime! I'm 100% made for them!”

“NYEH HEH HEH! WHEN I'M IN THE AREA, I MOST DEFINITELY SHALL, KARMA! YOU ARE ALMOST AS CUDDLY AS A SKELETON!” Papyrus said happily, hugging you once more before setting you down carefully. You patted his cheek, beaming up at him.

“I'm gonna put that on all my self-motivational memos! That'll definitely keep me upbeat!” you chirped, before lightly kissing his cheek. “You're a peach, Papyrus,” you said with absolute sincerity, before skipping back around to the register as Flops and Sans both watched you, one with a disapproving face, and the other with a blank grin. “I'd give you a kiss too, but I know Gilia would have my lovely round ass—” Sans began to cough loudly, and you blinked innocently at him. “Need more water, bright eye? I never knew skeletons could cough so much.” His smile turned a bit strained before he jerked his head towards Papyrus, who was looking through one of your ‘tame’ cake catalogs. 

You took a moment, then made an “oooooo” sound, before cupping your face. “Awwww, the peach is a cinnamon roll! A peachy cinnamon roll!” you cooed. Sans' face turned peach-colored itself, and you grinned. “I'll be good while he's around. Never let it state that Karma would corrupt a cinnamon roll.”

“Tell that to Dia,” Flops muttered behind you as Sans paid for the cakes.

“Dia is a _sin_ -amon roll, there is a difference. Oh! Hold on a sec, here, bright-eye!” You passed another cupcake to Sans, grinning at him. “Here's an additional cupcake for Peachy Pie. Come by anytime.” 

He chuckled, his ruby eye studying you curiously. “might jus' do that, shortcake,” he murmured, then grinned, “see ya around.” 

You winked at him, leaning on the counter as he stepped back. “Have fun with the cake~!” you teased, and his grin turned sharp, his ruby eye shining almost manically. It was…oddly hot.

“oh i will...i will. Paps, gimme a hand?” Papyrus bounced up, ducking his head at the last minute, and held out his large hands for the cakes. Sans passed him the smaller cake and one of the cupcakes, keeping hold of the other one.

“SANS? ARE YOU OKAY? YOU'RE CARRYING THE LARGER OF THE CAKES WILLINGLY!” Papyrus asked as he opened the door for his brother. Sans chuckled, and whatever he said was lost as the door swung shut. You waited for several moments, watching them walk away from your shop window. 

When you were confident they weren't coming back, you let your head bang against the counter, your pink, teal, and blue hair spilling around you, and wailed, “Why is he so HOT??!!”

“Because you have a closet skeleton fetish,” Flops muttered, and you groaned, before moving to finish stocking up before the evening rush.

“My last name literally means Bones, how can I not make use of that!?”

“And the fact you have bones tattooed on your back?”

“Colourful ones, with flowers and swirly shit! They make me look sexier!”

“Still bones.”

“You liked them before~.”

“Oh my stars, shut up!”


	2. Sans PoV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is conflicted about leaving you behind without getting your number. He's even more conflicted about letting you know you're his soul mate.

Sans was torn as he walked away from the bakery. Away from you. Papyrus was chattering happily about the new human friend he had made. It was good to see him so happy. So many humans, even several Monsters, were frightened by his deformed appearance. But... you never stank of fear for even a moment. You never shuddered, or flinched away, wrapping your comically small arms around his brother and welcomed him like he was a friend before you had met him.

Sans breathed out, closing his eye-sockets, picturing the tiny human woman. Impish green eyes, short hair in various weird but beautiful colours. Soft pink lips that could either smile with all the innocence of an angel or all the deviance of a succubus. Skin the colour of the sweetest caramel he'd ever craved. The curves that showed how healthy you were despite being so small. The curves that you knew were sexy and came close to driving him crazy.

Sans gripped the box from the bakery a bit tighter. _Shit..._

When Classic came forward with his soul-mate, a nice, if strange human who was bonded to six others from the other timelines, they had tried to keep him away from her. But he was nothing if not patient. And Classic's Papy was just as kind as his, though more naïve, which always depressed the red-eyed skeleton. He tried to pretend his brother was still the innocent, guilt-free babybones he had raised. But compared to Papy...it hurt, but at least he was able to use Papy's more innocent nature to meet Rhia.

And he knew right away she wasn't his.

Rhia was too timid in nature, and, though she was a soul of Perseverance, she had been frightened when she met him. It had quickly turned to concern, and she had tried to fuss over him like she was his mother or something. But even then it was apparent she wasn't comfortable. She stank of fear. She wanted to “fix” him. She had calmed down since then, of course, to the point Sans saw her as a friend. If Classic tried to deny him or his brother something now, Rhia was the one he'd inform, and then cackle to himself knowing that she would let his “nice” double have it.

It was thanks to Rhia that Sans and his brother were allowed to go out now. It was thanks to Rhia that they had a place away from the other fuckers, that wasn't some cheap-ass cabin hidden in the middle of nowhere. No, they had a nice place, still in the middle of nowhere, but it was better that way. It was also thanks to Rhia that Papyrus was getting the healing he had so desperately needed. He no longer had his painful limp, and while his eyesight was still abysmal, Alphys was working on a set of glasses that wouldn't have to tape to his skull. Sans owed Rhia a lot. He really did. But she wasn't his.

Classic and the other fuckers had used that knowledge to suggest that something was wrong with his soul. Like it was evident that the desperate measures he had had to take in order to survive had warped him. It was infuriating. But…he had believed them, deep down. No matter that he didn't want to.

But now...

Sans gave a slow grin then, his red eye flickering a bit.

Now Sans knew better.

He _had_ a soul-mate. A completely different soul belonged to him, and only to him. Suck on _that_ , Classic. Oh, he relished the idea of Classic meeting Karma and seeing that red, blue, and yellow outline around your beautiful orange, green, and red soul. Bravery, Kindness, and Determination. Perfect.

He just wished he’d managed to have the balls to ask for your number.

“BROTHER, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?” Papyrus suddenly asked, squinting down at Sans in that way that always pinched his soul.

“ya bro, i'm just peachy,” he said honestly, making Papyrus's brow crease, and he squinted harder at him as they finally neared Sans' truck. It was the only vehicle they'd found that Papyrus didn't have to curl into to fit, other than vans or SUVs. Or a convertible, but he wanted to get Paps his own, once they got him his special glasses. The best part of having the truck was that it was still small enough that it only had room for one more since Papyrus had to push his seat all the way back.

“IS THAT A PUN ABOUT THE LOVELY NICKNAME THAT KARMA GAVE ME?” Sans couldn't help a faint light pink flush on his cheekbones at the mention of your name. “NYEH HEH HEH, YOU ARE STILL THINKING ABOUT HER, I SEE.” Before he could deny it, Papyrus swooped and grabbed the cake from his hands, and carefully placed both in the back seat of the truck, where he'd easily be able to hold them for the ride home. 

“GO ASK THE NICE HUMAN FOR HER PHONE NUMBER.” Sans felt more magic flooding his skull and started to protest when Papyrus continued, “I WOULD ENJOY SPEAKING WITH HER MORE, AS WELL. I WONDER IF SHE WOULD BE WILLING TO SHARE SOME BAKING SECRETS!” Sans could never deny his brother anything, even at the expense of his dignity. So he sighed and gave a small grin.

“sure, bro.”

“OH, AND SANS?”

“ya bro?”

“IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU GETTING ALONG WITH A HUMAN OTHER THAN OUR OTHER BROTHER'S MATE.” 

Sans felt his face soften and smiled at his giant of a little brother. “Rhia's a good'un, 's nice ta see another.” 

Papyrus laughed gently, his face turning shrewd as he patted Sans on his head gently, making Sans smile wider from the gesture. He loved his bro.

“AND IT HAS NOTHING AT ALL TO DO WITH THE FACT SHE IS YOUR SOULMATE.” Annnd now Sans' skull was entirely peach-colored. Papyrus might not be able to see faces and words very well, but it didn't stop him from seeing souls clearly. Too clearly. Papyrus happily “nyeh heh heh”-ed as he climbed into the truck. Sans sighed, then decided to risk a shortcut. The sooner he got this over with, the better. He still had to go to the fucking party. His magic buzzed and hissed unhappily in his skull, but he appeared in the bakery without incident.

“-They make me look sexier!” This was either a great idea or a terrible one, Sans unable to decide as he watched you argue with the cream-coated rabbit.

“Still bones.” This was a great idea.

“You liked them before~.” This was a terrible idea.

“Oh my stars, shut up!” The rabbit groaned, and pulled on his ears before blinking, seeing Sans standing awkwardly by the door. A sly smile slid over the rabbit's face, and Sans' eye narrowed suspiciously. “Kaaarma, someone's here to see you~.” Seriously? He sighed and sauntered to the counter so you could actually see him.

“Whooo is it- Oh! Sans! Hi, bright-eye!” you called as you poked your head out from the back room, blushing prettily upon seeing him. He really liked that blush. “Forget something?” 

Well, you asked…

“yer number?” he asked softly. The rabbit let out a laugh, before turning it into a cough as you glared at him, making Sans feel incredibly self-conscious. Time to back-pedal. “uh, Paps wanted ta talk ta ya more...”

“Oh...” 

Oh fuck, disappointment, no, no, no, he's sorry, he didn't mean it! 

“Well, if Peachy Pie wants my number he's more than welcome to have it!” you chirped. Stars damnit, why did you have to be so _cute_?

He watched you pull a notebook from below the register, before hopping onto your stool to lean comfortably on the counter. He couldn't help but notice that it also let him see down your top. You definitely had better breasts than Rhia, he decided. You glanced up then and caught him staring. Your smirk made his fucking blush come flooding back. 

“They're great, aren't they? Don't worry. I take it as a compliment,” you said airily. Of course, you did. You ripped off the piece of paper and handed it to him with a bright smile, swaying your hips as you all but laid on the counter, cupping your chin in your hands. You...were completely doing that on purpose. You _had_ to be. So…why not play along? 

His empty socket itched, but he flexed his hand in his pocket and let his eye-sockets fall into half-lidded ease. He leaned against the counter, grinning, before glancing over the phone number you'd given him, and feeling his entire skull go bright peach as a result.

You were a step ahead of him, again.

0XXXXXX-XXXX For my Peachy Pie Papyrus AND my Bright-Eye Sans.  
Text me anytime, but call me between 7-9pm (baker's hours suck!)  
<3 Karma Baines

“fucking stars,” Sans breathed, before looking back up at you. You had that faint, pretty blush back, and while you were smirking, your eyes were clearly uncertain and hopeful. Oh fuck, you were worried! 

With a very precise motion, he pulled out his phone and made it very clear he was adding the number to his contacts. Your eyes sparkled as he did, and it took every ounce of willpower not to kiss you right then and there. 

“i'll get this ta Paps. he wuz wonderin' if ya'd teach 'im some baker's secrets.”

“That'd be fun! I'd be more than happy to teach him. No dick cakes though, right?” He hadn't even thought about that, and it must have shown on his face. You burst out laughing, dropping your head onto the counter as your tiny frame shook with mirth. You were going to drive him insane. He loved it. He sighed and chuckled, reaching out and ruffling your mop of brightly coloured hair. Oh, wow, that felt nice. His hand twitched a little as he smoothed it back down before he pulled away. He had to stop! You were grinning at him too much! 

“Aww, why'd ya stop, bright eye?” you teased, and he shrank into his hoodie. Oh, stars...

“uh…i do gotta get goin’," no, not the disappointed face! “need ta shove tha dick cake in my relative's face.” You nodded, looking understanding but still disappointed. He was starting to sweat, wanting, no, _needing_ you to smile again. “i'll... i'll send pics? of their reactions?” he clarified, and suddenly you were giving him a delighted smile, with sparkling eyes, and pretty pink cheeks. Too much, too much, too much! He stared at you, trying to keep from whining.

“I would love that, oh my god, you are awesome,” you squeaked. You motherfucking squeaked. Sans was going to keel over from the cuteness overload. You leaned forward then and pressed a very soft kiss against his cheekbone, and his mind running blank as his soul did fucking cartwheels, his entire body feeling hot. “You okay, bright-eye? You're pinker than a peach—”

“And twice as sweet,” the rabbit finished for you, and Sans wasn't sure if he appreciated it or not. “Karma, we gotta get the last of the product to the floor, tell the nice skeleton he can come back later, but when the afternoon rush hits—”

“Oh my _god_ , Flops, you sound more like my boss by the minute!” The tone was teasing, even if the words were sharp, and Sans watched you sit up with a sigh. “Sorry, bright-eye, he’s right, our afternoons are hella busy. But ya got my number. Definitely get me those photos, I'll put them on our Wall.” The devious grin was back.

“wall...?” Sans had to ask, just to see that grin spread.

“Stop by either in the early morning or after 5, and I'll show it to you. You'll get a kick out of it.” Now he really wanted to see it, but both of you had to go...he gave a wink, chuckling.

“always like ta kick back, wall not?” You grinned at the puns, sending a bright wink back before hopping off your stool, and he retreated slowly, keeping his eye on you as he did. The bond around your soul was already becoming more apparent. Did you need it as much as he did?

“Awesome sauce, see ya later, alligator!”

“in a while, crocodile...” Sans murmured, as he left the shop. 

He made it all the way to the truck before having to rest his head against the door. Papyrus was singing along to some new Mettaton song on the radio. Sans gripped his chest, his soul feeling tight. Was this normal? He knew Classic and the others didn't like to be apart from Rhia for long. But he had thought it was their possessive tendencies that did that. How was he supposed to handle this?

How were you going to handle this?

“SANS?? ARE YOU ALRIGHT BROTHER?” Sans blinked and looked up at Papyrus, who had rolled down the window and was looking rather concerned. Sans had to sigh, and gave a wry grin, stepping back to open the door.

“tryin', bro,” he admitted softly, as he climbed in. He put up his GPS—his memory definitely not what it was—and begrudgingly hit the button for “Assholes’ place.” Papyrus waited for a moment, then rubbed Sans' head gently, making his older brother sigh, “thanks...”

“SANS, THERE IS NO REASON TO FRET. YOU KNOW THIS, RIGHT?”

“yer probably right,” Sans murmured, as he gripped the steering wheel tighter and peered into the wing mirrors to back up and pull out of the parking spot. It had taken some doing to get a driver's license, but he found he enjoyed driving when there weren't any road annoyances. Which was rare. But the road was clear on the way to the skeletons' house today, and it allowed Sans to relax, his mind drifting.

To his chagrin, it kept going back to you. Your smile, your eyes, your softness, your scent...he wondered how coy you were outside your job. You seemed flirty and clearly had had a relationship with the rabbit. Did you get bored easily? Or did something else happen, explaining why you’d hired and befriended an ex? You weren't shy, that much was obvious. A good part of him wanted to go back and ask to see that scar that was so close to your rack that it couldn't be shown without a hint of tits. He had never been a fan of breasts before; he liked shapely asses, they were a better indication of how healthy someone was. But you had a beautiful set of both...they were both so...squeezable... _biteable_... This line of thought led to less and less innocent things, and he was glad when the stupid Mettaton voice of his GPS suddenly chimed.

“Darling~ please turn right! You're sooo close to your fabulous location!” Sans sighed and turned right, watching the ridiculous house come into view. Time to brace himself. At least he’d made sure that _some_ fun was going to happen. A larger grin came over his features. He was definitely going to make sure you enjoyed the party too.


End file.
